running blues

so thats what they call it... whoever "they" is. They call this the running blues. I've been officially diagnosed. I guess in some ways I have redeemed myself... with my few moments of running. one beautiful saturday about two weeks ago, I managed to pull out 4 miles from some where... yesterday, I ran two in the am and two later in the afternoon.... today, I did a swift 4.26 out on the canal. I could have made it under 40 minutes if it weren't for the 40 mph wind gusts we're having...

after 2.26, I found the source of my running blues. i can get through the first twenty minutes, the first two or so miles, and then it all starts in, and I want to go home. after fifteen minutes, i've released enough stress to stop thinking about how fast i'm going, how many miles I'm going to do, what I should be doing instead, what ive been slacking on. and then the real thinking comes. the sunshine starts feeling good, my legs start moving, and my mind starts drifting.... drifting to things i've lost, and that my friends is why i can make it through the first two miles and then want to turn home. i subconsciously know this run is going to hurt.... not always in a bad way, but just hurt.

so there you have it. needless to say, i'm trying to get over the running blues, and I think spring is going to really help me out there...

in other news, i still have managed to avoid the grocery store for the most part. i've purchased nothing but staples and fresh fruit and veggies.... its been over a month, and i'm still eating things from the kitchen....

my only complaint? I've eaten more eggs in the last month then I have in my entire life... unless you count the ones in un-cooked brownie or cake batter.... in that case, i'll have to re-assess my egg consumption over my lifetime.